So I finally told Taylor Friday night/Saturday morning that I don't want anything to do with him anymore. I was drunk and it was via text so I don't think he thought I was being serious but I have to stick to it this time. And I feel like I'll be okay sticking with it this time. (Plus, sober me the next day didn't want to text him again and say I made a mistake because I was drunk.)
Anyway, this has been a long time coming and Friday night really sealed the deal (clearly). Here's a few reasons why just so I can clear my head of thinking about all of this shit:
1. We're supposed to be friends. For a while, we were. We were friends first, friends with benefits second. Lately though, it's just about the benefits. We couldn't even watch a Dexter's Lab marathon without him wanting to pause it and fool around. And we can't hang out unless there's the guarantee that we're going to hook up. Long story short, I've become a hook-up/booty call/whatever and I'm tired of it.
2. I've been putting wayyy more into this friendship than he has. I thought of him as one of my best friends, while it seemed he couldn't care less if I was still in his life or not. Well, congratulations buddy. You got your wish.
3. He treats the people who refuse to stay in his life better than those who try to be his friend and stay close to him (which will all be reflected a little better in the following reasons).
(and the few straws that broke the camel's back on Friday)
4. Taylor has known since before we were dating that I don't like his other ex. It has nothing to do with him, since I knew her before I knew him. When we were dating, he would say things like how annoying she was in the relationship and how his friends didn't really like her and even had a full on bashing of her with a friend of mine who also knows her and thought I would want to join in. Friday night she came up and he swooped in defending her, calling her a great girl (among other things which will come up in #5). He said that she had taken him in over the summer when he didn't have a place to live with the connotation that had anyone in the room been living in Rock Hill at that point in time, we would have turned him away. And just the fact that he went through all of this with me standing there (knowing I know full well what he's said about her) makes me wonder what he says about me when I'm not around. It makes me wonder what horrible things he'll say about me to his next girlfriend, while we were supposed to be friends this whole time.
5. While defending his ex he said, "I wish I had never broken up with her." Which sounds a lot like: "I wish I had never broken up with her, therefore never had to have any relationship I've had since her." I'm the only relationship he's had since her. He also, when we were dating, said something to the fact that she was trying to get him back (even though she had a boyfriend at the time) and that she didn't like the fact that we were dating. After hearing him say that on Friday, I can't help but wonder if that was true or if that was him projecting what he was feeling out on her, hoping she felt it too.
6. Clearly, his other ex was, is, and always will be more important to him than I am. So I'm going to step out of his life and let him deal with that. It'll be much easier for him without me in his life muddling those feelings up.
