funk.

i'm in a funk.

maybe it's the lack of sleep. maybe it's because i just realized how far behind i am on pretty much all my schoolwork. which, i know will lead to less sleep. maybe it's because i just dropped a class (well, i need one more signature for it to be official) and now know i'll have to take 18 hours next semester. i dropped a class at the beginning of this semester because that was how many i had and i couldn't handle all the work. i guess i'll just have to suck it up next semester and deal.

maybe it's just because i feel a little dehydrated. who knows?

smart water tastes no different than regular water to me. other than it feels like it's clinging to the back of my throat. but, that could just be because my throat's feeling a little sore. i gotta be more careful when i'm blaring/singing along with the music in my car on the way back to school.

hm.

i've also been contemplating a lot lately if the whole college thing's for me. the only problem is, i have no idea what i'd do if i dropped out. working at the restaurant, i hardly made the money it would require to support myself, which my father told me i'd have to do if i dropped out. what sucks is i really think that's the only thing keeping me from dropping out: not having anything to do once i do. that, and feeling like i've wasted a ton of my parent's money. but what doesn't make any sense is that i still have no idea what i'm going to do AFTER college. so i'll be in the same boat, just with an english degree.

grr. i need to quit worrying about such things right now.

fall.

well fall break is finally here, and along with it some fall-like weather. i'm so glad to actually have some relaxation time.

i'm really worried about my grades right now. i'm nervous that i might get (at best) c's in everything. i think i'm failing spanish. i'm really considering dropping it, but then i'd have to take 18 hours next semester. i think i may do a little research on this. yeah, that's what i'm going to do now.

consciousness, pt. 6

so, since october is half-way over, i've decided it needs at least one entry in it.

the v8 v-fusion acai mixed berry juice is terrible. i'm making myself drink it, though, because of the whole "one serving of fruit, one serving of vegetable" thing. stupid marketing techniques.

i feel kind of weird about going from posting at least once or twice a week to barely posting each month. school has been taking it's toll on me. i finally feel like i'm a typically college student now, though. i'm pulling all-nighters, drinking wayyy more coffee, and have even participated in the "walk of shame" a few times this semester. they were all coming from the same dorm room, but you get the idea.

it just hit me that i leave for fall break tomorrow. it's kind of bittersweet. i definitely need a break from school, but i'm also definitely going to miss taylor (the new boyfriend). i think we've spent almost every day together for the past two weeks. but, then again, maybe this is a good thing. it'll keep me from getting to clingy/dependent. not that i would know that's what would happen, since this is my first ever relationship, but i could see that becoming the case. especially with the way things are going now. and NO ONE likes clingy.