ipod.

i stopped listening to my ipod for a while. i'm not really sure why, but i switched over to listening to cds that i've made over the past couple years. i switched back today and realized that i was limiting myself very much with my cds. i have so much music i have yet to listen to on my ipod from people sharing bands with me, saying, "oh my god you'll love them!" so, new project for the summer: go through the albums on my ipod and listen to every one straight through.

but i'm starting that tomorrow. today, i just had all 8000+ songs on shuffle and one came on that i haven't heard in a while, although it used to be my favorite song: "here's looking at you kid" by the gaslight anthem.

and i was listening to this song with new ears. no longer did i just hear a guy listing his past relationships and how they ended. i was hearing the message he was sending out, what he learned from beginning all of these relationships. every time we enter into a new relationship, we're hoping that this will be the one we'll end up with forever. we know that the odds are completely stacked against us, but there's that chance that this is the person for us and we're willing to take it. it's a great risk, not one any smart gambler would take, but for some reason we all take it.

and then when those relationships do end, it's not because we wanted them to. it's because they had to. something greater than ourselves was telling us it was time to move on because this person isn't the right one, no matter how it may feel right now. and although we don't want to admit it, it's for the best. to quote the movie the song has quoted, "we'll always have paris."

when i was listening to this song, for each situation i had a particular boy in mind. so i switched up the lyrics a little bit. don't worry, everyone's been given a code name (though i think that if they were to stumble upon here they'd be able to pick themselves out immediately). but that's beside the point.

you can tell gayle, if she calls,
that i'm famous now for all of these rock and roll songs.
and even if that's a lie, she should've given me a try.
when we were kids on the field of the first day of school,
i would've been her fool.
and i would've sang out your name in those old high school halls.
you tell that to gayle, if she calls.

you can tell ray, if he calls,
that i'm famous now for all those scribbles of poems.
and even if that's a lie, he should've given me a try.
when we were kids on that night of the first day of school,
i would've been his fool.
and i would've sang out your name in those old collegiate halls.
you tell that to ray, if he calls.

and you can tell janey, if she writes,
that i'm drunk off all these stars and all these crazy hollywood nights.
and that's a total deceit, but she should've married me.
and tell her i spent every night of my youth on the floor,
bleeding out from all these wounds.
i would've gotten her a ride out of that town she despised.
you tell that to janey, if she writes.

and you can tell robby, if he writes,
that i'm high off all these stars and all these crazy rock hill nights.
and that's total deceit, but he should've been with me.
and tell him i spent every night with him on the bed,
pining for him to love me once again.
i would've gotten him a ride out of that town he despised.
you tell that to robby, if he writes.

but boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that will cut you to ribbons sometimes.
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you oughta do.

you remind anna, if she asks why,
that a thief stole my heart while she was making up her mind.
i heard she lives in brooklyn with the cool,
goes crazy over that new york scene on 7th avenue.
but i used to wait at the diner, a million nights without her,
praying she won't cancel again tonight.
and the waiter served my coffee with a consolation sigh.
you remind anna, if she asks why.

you remind merritt, if he asks why,
that a thief stole my heart while he was making up his mind.
i heard he lives in newberry with the folks,
feels at peace again in that small hometown he knows.
but i used to wait outside, a million nights without him,
praying he'd drive by again tonight.
and the moon looked down upon me with a consolation sigh.
you remind merrit, if he asks why.

tell her it's all right.
you know it's hard to tell you this.
oh it's hard to tell you this.

here's looking at you, kid.