consciousness, pt. 11

i've been craving the strangest things today. an hour ago it was a banana. now i really really really want some fried pickles with dill sauce and french fries with honey mustard. stupid hormones. they're making me emotional too. and i'm not a fan of it. at all.

i feel like i'm constantly annoying people. maybe that's why i've been missing ally so much more than usual lately. she's like the one person i know i've never felt like i've been a nuisance to. unless i was intentionally being one by picking on her, which is fun until she starts throwing things at you.

i'm not even really looking forward to saturday anymore. mainly because of the whole "feeling as though i'm annoying people" thing.

also in my alone time this summer, i've noticed a pattern in the people i don't like: they're all prettier than me. and that's not the reason i dislike them but it does, naturally, make me like them even less. and i hate that. i hate not liking people. because then i assume that i only dislike them because i think they're better than i am and i already have enough inferiority issues as it is.

ugh.

this summer is turning out to be a really craptastic one.