memory.

i'm getting worse at not remembering things after consuming certain substances. i'm not entirely sure why. i do know that i'm having fun when i'm doing it, i just can't really remember any of it the next day. which up until recently, i've never had a problem with. now i realize why so many people have to rely on pictures from the night before to let them know what they did or what they were doing or who they were with.

[segue]

this got me to thinking that my memory is really screwed up anyway. when i'm going through a certain phase in my life, i tend to forget about all the other ones and things that happened during those other times. what's worse, is i forget a lot of details of my relationships with people that occurred during those other times in my life.

for instance, a few months into my freshman year here at college, i had forgotten all about life in high school; what i did, friendships that weren't particularly constant, the way i acted, the way i was. then, probably around mid-june last year, i had forgotten what my freshman year at college was like, especially the relationships i had with people. a month or so into last semester, i forgot my summer.

another example: about a month or so after i started dating taylor, i forgot what it was like to be single. i hadn't the faintest idea how i went about my day before being in a relationship with someone. and now, a couple of months after breaking up and being single again, i've forgotten what it was like to be in a relationship. i wouldn't know what to do if i suddenly found myself in one again. i'd have to wait a few weeks or so to readjust.

i guess what i'm trying to figure out is whether or not this is relatively normal? do other people forget the stages of their life after being out of them for a little while?


so get back, back, back to where we lasted,
just like i imagine. i could never feel this way.
so get back, back, back to the disaster,
my heart's beating faster, holding on to feel the same.
-memory, sugarcult