fear.

on the inside cover of my journal, i have a little quote written down:

there are very few things worth being afraid of.

it makes me think about all the fears i've conquered over my life. i used to be terrified of heights. a few years ago, i decided to beat that fear and do a rock climbing camp. i did it, conquered the mountain and my fear. now i can't wait to go sky diving someday. i used to be afraid of roller coasters (this kind of stemmed from my fear of heights) but then i went to carowinds with a group of friends and so as not be made fun of/left out, i sucked it up and rode the roller coasters. now, i love them. i can remember being terrified of spiders. that one i think i just kind of grew out of because now i find them fascinating and even want a tattoo of one on my foot. i used to be absolutely frightened of being alone. now, i've had some of my best personal growth moments while i was by myself, i've realized. i'm okay with being by myself now.

but, for some reason the fear i cannot fathom overcoming (at least at this point in time) is this completely irrational fear of letting go of some people, even though i know it's better for me not to hold on to them. oddly enough, a fear that i'm having trouble with that stems from this is not telling people what i'm really feeling, leaving me alone to carry all of my emotional baggage.

oh, god, i have so much emotional baggage.