blogging.

birthday countdown: one week

So, I'm not sure which of my blogs the hater on formspring reads (this one or my tumblr), but I hope they got the point that I'm not going to stop blogging just because they think I'm airing out my dirty laundry for the internet to see/sad and pathetic.

I believe I had the url of this one on my facebook for maybe the first month I had it (which if you go back and look at the archive was in December 2008). My tumblr only went through to my facebook until I realized how to keep the websites from being connected (we'll say a week at the beginning of April 2010).

My blogs are fairly private. This one didn't start off with that intention, but as it got to be much more personal I stopped linking it, I stopped talking about it, and I stopped following other people on here so they wouldn't know about it. I'm not going to go out of my way to make them exclusively private (where you have to have a password to get on them, although I do have a tumblr that is password protected) like this person probably thinks I should do. They're my blogs, they're not being forced down the throats of people I know on facebook (my IRL friends), and they're very therapeutic for me.

I've never been able to keep a journal religiously, that just doesn't work for me. I'm more likely to regularly get my feelings out through an online journal, which is what both of my blogs have become. They're not a portfolio of my writing up for critique. They're usually written when I'm in very emotional states, so the syntax/diction/whatever usually isn't the main focus, which is why some may come off as "poorly written."

I haven't written anything on here that I wouldn't say to someone if they asked me about it. People just generally don't ask. A free blog seemed like a better alternative to an expensive therapist. Sometimes I just need to have someone hear what I have to say, even if that someone is a search engine (or me, a few months later when I go back and read them sometimes).

I'm not trying to explain myself to that person on formspring because I don't feel like I owe them an explanation. I just needed to vent and organize my thoughts around why it is that I blog, exactly why I made this in the first place. If I didn't have a place like this to sort out my feelings and opinions on such things, my mind would be so much more floopy (a Phoebe word) and out of sorts than it already is. By having this, I can get things that are going on in my life like this out of my head and focus on more important and time consuming things.