faith.

i thought i had lost it, but i guess it's still here. i had to defend my faith today and that made me realize this. boy, there's nothing like realizing it wasn't gone, only lying dormant within me. ok, so i'm not the perfect example. i don't pray or read the bible every day. i practically bask in sin. but, hey, it's a start. and i'm going to try harder to be better at doing what i have to do for this.

i used to think that part of being christian was having this huge life-altering moment of being saved. that's what everyone talks about in their personal testimonies, anyway. that could be what happens to some people, i suppose. but maybe, just maybe, it's also about being saved a little each day. maybe it's about waking up and remembering you have this wicked cool dad whose already done so much for you and whose gonna love you and forgive you, no matter what...all you have to do is ask and believe and try to do better next time.

i just, i can't understand atheism, y'know? this feeling is pretty amazing. why would someone purposefully shy away from that? why, in a world where everything seems to be going downhill would a person try to avoid a constant stream of hope?