lost.

i don’t meet people i befriend very often, or i don’t befriend people i meet very often, i say hi, i promise things, but friendship scares me and i remain the stranger i was before we met. sometimes i meet someone who frightens me, thrills me, excites me, terrifies me, someone who i fear losing if i don’t completely devote myself to this person.
and that’s what i do. i hand over myself to you. i give myself to you. i love and desire to be loved back. i lose myself. i get lost.
while you, you don't. you hold back and move on. you let go. you know your way out of the maze, and you leave. you leave while i stay in there, knowing my way out, but refusing to do so. i rewalk the paths we’ve walked, touch the things you’ve touched, breathe the air we inhaled. i get lost in what we were. in your memories in treasured boxes, but in my, my everything.
i’m lost in you.

good god this quote knows me so well.