apathy.

i've decided not to care anymore. i posted this on my tumblr a few minutes ago:

so i’ve decided that once i get out of my parents’ house in august i’m going to just not give a shit about anything anymore.
i’m going to drink when i want, smoke when and what i want, sleep with who i want, get what i want pierced, tattoo what i want on me, and just do whatever the fuck i want when i want to do it.

and i’m going to do all this without caring. i’ve been caring about people entirely too much and all it’s gotten me is a lot of pain.

but from now on, fuck that.

and in just the short amount of time from then until now, i've started feeling better. lighter, even. like a whole bunch of weight has just been lifted off my shoulders all because i've decided not to give a rat's ass about anyone else but me.