inconsequential, pt. 2.

the last chapter:
i was just an inconsequential stepping stone between the girl (it sounds to me) he still wishes he were with and the next girl, who (with his "newfound knowledge of himself") he will probably feel closer to.

i decided yesterday to begin taking steps to getting over Ex once and for all. you know, emotionally. cause to be quite honest, i'm tired of missing him and moping and what not. let me clarify. not "missing him" as in "missing being with him" but "missing him" as in "i miss all of my friends from school, but especially him for some reason." and i figure once i get over him emotionally, i'll stop missing him so much and be able to stop being miserable. today, i saw something on facebook that made my stomach drop and sent me back TONS of steps in the progress i'd made since this decision of mine (yes, yesterday but i'd still made progress).

his ex (the girl mentioned above as "the girl (it sounds to me) he still wishes he were with) and her boyfriend broke up. meaning she's now single. newly single. after being in a relationship with "the love of her life" (don't worry, he referred to her as this too. it was actually quite nauseating). the point is, she's newly single, on the rebound, and she and Ex are in the same city all summer. together.

problem is, i have no idea why my stomach dropped when i found this out. it is obviously one of two reasons:
1) i'm worried that Ex will actually see her as the girl he still wishes he were with and try to win her back. and based on how they started out last time, he'll be persistent. and she's on rebound so it would only make sense for her to give in. they'll get back together. theoretically, i'm still not fully over him (emotionally, as mentioned before) so seeing them together when i return in august (or in june, depending on whether or not i have to take this class) will be the stake through the heart. and seeing all the lovey dovey stuff she puts on facebook would just be nails through my toenails and fingernails. wow i'm a spiteful person.
2) i really really really really don't like her. and this goes back to before Ex and me, so that's not my reason for disliking her, although it does add to it. with her previous bf out of the picture, it's much more likely that they'll actually be friends again (something Ex is trying out with all his exes for some reason). meaning, she'll be around more often and i just really do not want to hear her voice for extended periods of time like i know i would have to because Ex and i are friends already. and lots of Ex's brothers and i are friends. she knows lots of Ex's brothers but hasn't really been in contact with them (that i know of, besides "liking" things on facebook) since hanging out with her last bf. but, as mentioned in option 1, she's now up in rock hill over the summer with all of them while i'm stuck here. that is, unless i get to take this summer class.