dreams.

i started watching "glee" as a joke. i love musicals and broadway, but i couldn't for the life of me see myself getting addicted to a show where they sang covers of pop songs. about a month or two before the series was supposed to air, my sister had me listen to their cover of "don't stop believin" and while i thought it was good, i had no intentions of actually watching the show. then, about a week or two after the show started playing, a friend of mine told me to watch it to see this horrible acting they were trying to pass off. i did, had a nice little laugh, and went on with my life.

after the ninth episode, "wheels," i was on youtube and under suggested videos was the scene from that episode where artie sings "dancing with myself." i decided to humour youtube and watch it. i don't know why, but the song seemed to strike a chord with me and i went online and started watching the episodes, getting myself addicted to the show.

this past week, the episode was titled "dream on" and i'll admit i was extra excited to watch it because neil patrick harris was going to be guest starring. but then, just as when i watched the scene from "wheels," this episode struck another chord with me. and it wasn't until i saw this picture tonight that i knew what that chord was:


from: http://fuckyeahgleesecrets.tumblr.com

and as i read it, all i could think was i might as well have submitted that secret. i always tell people the reason that i'm an english major is because i want to be a writer when i grow up. really, i say that because i know i'd be content being a writer. i'd be able to go to work, go on with my day-to-day life, and continue living knowing i was doing something that wasn't killing me inside. which, you know, is good. but safe.

in this episode of "glee," jonathan groff's character says, "a dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. the one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away."

i guess the whole point of all of this rambling was that i hope to god that one day i figure out what my dream is. and i hope even more that i'll be able to obtain it once i realize whatever it may be.



life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-søren kierkegaard