omg uguys!

i think i know what i want to do with my life.
actually, i'm pretty positive i know what i want to do with my life.

do you realize how much of a break through this is for me?! a year ago, i had no idea what made me happy; no idea what i was good at; no idea where i wanted to go once i graduated (something that's coming like a freight train). but now i do. dare i say it? i actually feel like i have a..."calling" now.

what's even better is that i know how i want to proceed with this calling. (i don't know how to pay for it just yet, but we'll cross that bridge when/if - can't jinx myself - i get into this graduate program). and it's looking like i'll be able to start the summer after i graduate from winthrop if i want to stay at winthrop with it (which i do). something that's all the better, i think.

okay. give up yet?
i'll say it.

i want to get my masters of education in counseling and development with a concentration in school counseling. i want to be a high school counselor. i love how excited my mom gets when one of her first graders achieves something they didn't think they could. i want to be able to do that while helping students further their education, find a job, deal with all the stress that comes with being a teenager. high school and i were not exactly bffs and i want to help students like me (and ones not like me) to broaden their horizons, realize high school isn't everything, and that they're capable of so much more than they think they are.

i sort of have my high school counselor to thank for this. he was a pretty cool cat and never made any student feel like he was too busy to help them. he knew us all by name, he struggled and celebrated with us, he helped us push past whatever limit we had set for ourselves just to show us that we could.

for the first time in a really long time, i'm starting to feel passionate about something again.

i want to do this.