what am i, twelve?

so i have a class next semester with my ex's ex - the one i've written about on here before.

at least, i think i do. i think that's what she meant by her comment on my note on facebook. it's either that or she just gets really excited over the idea of drawing naked people.. yeah, i'm pretty sure it's the former.

anyway. i'm kind of nervous. no, anxious is the better word.
why, you ask? well, i'll tell you.

i haven't exactly kept it a secret on here that after meeting her, and up until recently, i didn't much care for her. (and i also believe i've over-emphasized that it has nothing. to do. with. our. shared. ex. got it? good.)

i was contemplating the other day (and by the other day, i mean at least a month ago) why i dislike all of the people that i do. because i'm not really one for hate or bringing that sort of bad karma into my life, i decided if there was an outdated or trivial reason i had for disliking someone, i would try to fix it or, at the very least, get over myself and let it go. with her situation, it was more the latter. my reasons for not liking her were petty and are very much irrelevant now (so, unless asked, i'm not going to bore you with something so trivial).

the problem is, i'm pretty positive she knows that i don't [or, at the very least, at one point didn't] like her. so, come august, i'm not entirely sure how to act upon entering the figure drawing room. i mean, i know not to run up, give her a hug and say, "ohmigosh how was your summer?!" like i will with some of the people in my other classes because that's just entirely too fake, even for me. and i also know not to act like that "transitive sex law" thing is in effect (you know, the one where you've slept with everyone your partner has slept with) and bring up something that sounds like some horrible self-induced word vomit.

i have no idea how to act/what to say. and i'm not even the most loquacious person to begin with so what if she thinks i still dislike her and decides to reciprocate the same feelings? and i know it sounds so juvenile and stupid, but i really don't want her to not like me because she does seem like a cool person and i will have to spend every tuesday/thursday from 3:30-6:15 of a semester in the same classroom with her.

ugh. why must i be so awkward?